Tea in the office

Posted in Misc.

What would you do with 45,500 cups of Yorkshire Tea?

Well, if you’re the average British office worker, you’d drink them. A new survey has found that in the course of a lifetime in the office, the average person consumes no fewer than 45,500 cups of tea (or coffee – but we don’t talk about that).

45,500 cups. Just imagine it! If you stacked them on top of each other... well, you’d have no idea how far they reached because the health and safety dept wouldn’t let you.

There are some other interesting insights about office life in the survey.

Apparently, the average person has 875 small grumbles (“I hate that health and safety lady, she always ruins my cup stacking”); three major bust ups (“I’M STACKING THESE CUPS AND YOU’RE NOT GOING TO STOP ME”); and one office romance (“UNLESS YOU LET ME BUY YOU DINNER, sorry for shouting”).

But we’re mostly excited about the tens of thousands of teas. In fact, we’ve prepared a series of helpful top tips to help your office brews go smoothly.

  • Never pour your tea into the photocopier. It’s a waste of good tea.

  • If it’s your turn to make a tea round but you’re quite busy, save time by sending everyone an e-card instead.

  • Running low on teabags? Then why not put one through the laminating machine? Your laminated teabag will provide no flavour on brewing, but if you’re OK with that, you can re-use it as often as you like.

  • Stop other people stealing your milk by never buying milk.

  • Kitchen full of dirty mugs? Simply seal it off and build a new kitchen.

  • Always wear sunglasses when drinking tea in the office. It will make you seem cool.

  • If a colleague asks for coffee instead of tea, have them sacked.

Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to make our 23,567th cup of Yorkshire Tea.

What’s Brewing